Parenting is hard...

Well, let me start on this off by saying that I am very lucky in parenting.  My son is probably one of the best behaved little boys I have ever come across.  Of course I am biased, but everyone tells me that he is and I am so thankful for that.  I never did anything specific to make this little boy turn out the way he has.  Most days I do the best I can and hope for the best.  Sometimes I cringe because I know I made a bad choice with him.  I have a dark sense of humor and I don't always filter myself as much as I should as a mother.  And yet... this little boy has never disappointed me. 

That's why it is so hard for me to ever be in a situation that I feel like I am disappointing him...

This move, feels just like that.  I lived a life of a lot of surprises as a kid.  I never wanted to have my son in a situation where he is so blind sided.  I feel like I haven't protected him and this was a wake up call for me and my husband.  Not to let someone else dictate where we are in life.  To take control.  To be happy and creators of our future.

This weekend I took the boy to see the apartments that we were looking at.  One that we got approved for and one that we were waiting to hear back from.  He wasn't very excited to even look.  I was feeling down about it, but he is a boy that always likes to know the details... 

When we walked in the demo unit, but is the same layout as the apartment that we are approved for, he was pleasantly surprised.  That me me pleasantly suprised.

He said it was not at all what he was picturing.  My younger brother lives in an apartment that is really old and small and for some reason he was thinking that is what we would be moving to!  Looking at what would be his room, he was thrilled!  He said he felt like it was probably even bigger than his current room.  So relieved.  We went over to anther set of apartments that we were waiting to hear from.  The boy wanted to see both places so he could decide which one he would like more.

When we walked into the 2nd one, he was not getting the same good vibes as the first apartment he toured...  Needless to say we signed the dotted line on the first place to secure the apartment.  He is feeling a bit more excited now that he has had a tour and knows where we will be living.

Even through things that are not easy to deal with and are uncomfortable and scary, he still is just the best little guy!  He is so strong and understanding!  I kind of want to be like him when I grow up.

Prayers Answered

It's funny...  Sometimes you put things out into the universe and hope that by some miracle it returns with good news...

I have prayed and pleaded and have had these conversations with myself on what if we don't get approved for an apartment (previous post).  My husband suffers from extreme anxiety and depression and I have been trying to be strong for him and our son.  Assuring them it's going to all be alright.  That I have faith.  That we will figure this out...  Then I at the same time, would be concerned.

Last night, I  made a decision, to blog again.  I have  done it off and on in the past, but it never stuck.  I at times have a case of ADD and get distracted.  My blogs have never had an identity.  I am a crafty person and love to create things.  So I have a lot to talk about.  I also want to make sure this is personal as well.  My true self.  Whatever is going on in my life you're going to hear about it.  If there is anyone one listening...


Even if no one is reading this right now.  Just getting concerns and stress on paper and out of my heart and head has felt great.

And....

This morning we got an approval of an apartment.   Thank God!!  I don' think my husband and I have slept or eaten in the last week because of all of this.

We have a lot more work to do, but it looks like we can start to move forward and get out of this limbo that we are in.

Changes

I have always been a person that takes things that have happened in their life and try to make the best out of it.  I'm not going to sit here and say that everything in my life has been easy to this point.  I'm also not going to think for a second that I don't have a lot to be thankful for. 

Right now I am at a big of a cross roads in my life. 

My little family has been renting this town house for some time and right now in Colorado, the market for selling homes is crazy!  Thank you medical/recreational marijuana!  That has left us in a bit of a tight situation.  Our landlady has decided to sell the home we are renting even though our lease isn't up until this time next year.  She was gracious enough to give us a whole 30 days to find a new home.  Needless to say, we have been a bit stressed out.  Since the selling market is so great, so is the rental market, so nothing is available!  We are going to have to find an apartment...  A two bedroom maybe...  If we can get approved.  Our credit isn't great (I know... I know...).

We applied at two apartments and won't hear back for a couple of days.  Cross your fingers and your toes on this one for us!  We can use all the faith and good vibes we can get!